The Future of Human Intimacy · Episode 2
AI Isn't Making Us Lonely. The Data Says Something Worse.
Everyone blames AI for loneliness. The data from nearly 10,000 people points somewhere else.
The Future of Human Intimacy · Episode 2
18+ only. This research film discusses intimacy in the context of AI and is intended for adults.
About this episode
Is AI making us lonely? In episode 2 of The Future of Human Intimacy, we asked people across six countries what drives loneliness. In every single country, digital and AI-mediated relationships came last on the list.
People pointed instead to their communities, their workplaces and even their families. The fear growing fastest everywhere was the feeling of not belonging anywhere. In Japan, seven in ten adults expect community belonging to get worse.
About the study
This series is based on the YouGov Global AI Intimacy Study, a survey of 9,912 people across six countries, commissioned by Starxgen.
Transcript
We love a headline that says machines are making us lonely. But how do we really think and feel about this?
When we asked people across six countries what they fear losing over the next decade, the number one growing fear was the same everywhere: the feeling that you don't belong anywhere, that community is dissolving. In Japan, seven in ten adults expect community belonging to get worse.
And here's the finding that surprised me most. We gave people a list of things that might drive loneliness, and digital and AI-mediated relationships came last in every single country. People aren't blaming technology for their loneliness. They're pointing at their communities, their workplaces, even their families. The people we asked said: we're already lonely. The machines are just what's within reach.
Now, the country with the strongest family culture in our study is the most worried about losing it. And that tracks. What's surprising to me is that they're also the most open to AI filling that gap. Not because they want machines, but because the structure that used to hold them is coming apart, and they can feel it.
I've interviewed the people who buy AI companions for ten years. These are widowers, people with disabilities, people whose anxiety makes a first date feel like falling off a cliff edge. Whoever you were picturing, it's probably someone much closer to home.
And let's be fair: AI companions can genuinely reduce distress. They offer immediate comfort, and especially for people who are isolated or grieving, this is really important. Also for people who are neurodivergent, socially anxious, disabled, elderly, or simply going through a difficult period.
Now, does all of that solve loneliness? To me, loneliness isn't just the absence of conversation. It's the absence of belonging, of touch, shared reality, obligations, community, being needed by others. Those are things AI can't fully replace.
So here's my question for you. What would we need to build in our communities, in workplaces, in families, so that fewer people needed a machine to feel less alone? And go check on your people.